All her life, she had felt alone, apart, further apart than even the humans who were choosing to pretend to be apart from everything.
But wasn’t she human, as well?
And what did that actually mean, to be human, to be vain, greedily insane, always causing pan?
At first she thought that her apartness was caused by experience without body, waltzing as a child with Infinity – which she had only just come to realize was an experience, few if any others had had.
But no that wasn’t it either, for while yes that had made her feel apart, it did not explain why she cared. Why she stayed bearing witness to this truly mad, truth-less experience, in which she could no longer feel much or any true joy, as humans had abandoned long ago seeking the source of true joy, settling instead for facade.
Then as if suddenly engulfed by magic, it came to her. What better proof of the absolute power of LOVE, than a spirit awake in the illusion, unattached, knowing that at any moment she wanted, she could leave.
She was also someone who had no illusion of reward in the afterlife as she wasn’t that good, but also no feared of punishment, for she hadn’t been that bad either. This thought made her giggle playfully to herself, “Not that bad.”.
In fact, she had no fear of never being again. Why should she? She did not have memory that she had been any part of Infinity before.
She was a creation whose only reason to be, was to help others awake to the truth of the LOVE they are, so that others may end their suffering, even though while she did suffered with them.
What greater proof of LOVE than that, to be only for LOVE’S sake, to help others awake, setting them free to spirit. “Yes, this is my reason!!!”, her consciousness exclaimed, “I that am not, is LOVE, the only real reason to be, for it is all that is!!!”
In this remembering she had also found the source of true joy…
“I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.” ~ Mother Teresa
“If you would not cease to love mankind you must not cease to do them good.” ~ Marie Dubsky, Freifrau von Ebner-Eschenbach (1830–1916), translated by Mrs Annis Lee Wister, 1882